It’s hard out here for a pimp.

Gimme those balls son.

Yep, there they are. Thaaaat’s what I’m talking about.

Prepare to get dusted fool.

This guy.

Not only is this guy sick on like 100 levels, but how about CBS? Clearing the books on the Early Show to make time for some real news.

Note to all sea creatures looking to get a close-up of Kris’s face hair:

Watch your beaks. Alright? Give the guy a wide berth when he’s taking his dips. He gets nervous.

Needs room to operate.

Contemplating life.

I know how it is kitty. That feeling like the world’s just trying to jam a fella up. Like the walls are closing in around you and you can’t do a damn thing about it because you’re buried under a big pile of hurt. I know that burn. Been there myself. Too many times. But you know what? You’re gonna make it on through. Sure as them whiskers on your face, because you’re a good kitty. With a heart of gold. And there’s people out here that love your little buns to bits. You hear me?

Now how’s bout I crack open a can of that tuna fish you love so dang much and we lift you outta this mess?

Whatta ya say?

Guy’s a vet.

Stardust Entertainment.

Getting the job done the way it should be done.

(With Phil Collins and some titty slaps.)

On to the next wedding. This matrimony has been blessed.

I want to join this party.

In my head, that goat is C-walking to those accordion tunes, and I want to be a part of it.

I want to be a part of it all.

Reeeeemix

Check it, Pauly D laying down a phat banner for Baskin Robbins.

Click here.

The nervous body swaying. The unnecessary hand movements. The blatant cue card read. Not uncomfortable at all.

In fact, you may have just witnessed the sickest banner of all time, yo.

Reeeemix.

This guy.

“Just hangin out.”