Golden showers sold separately.

33-why-does-an-r-kelly-manequin-exist

Yes, that’s exactly who you think it is.

R. Kelly. Ice-grillin’ the living shit out of your soul. DO NOT MEET HIS GAZE. I beg of you. You see, those eyes have plans. Big, lustful, animal-like plans. And I’m just not 100% certain you can fend them off.

He’s like that snake from The Jungle Book. (If that snake was a dirty sexual deviant who could delete clothes with a falsetto.) Casting spells and such.

Just imagine how horrifying it would be to see this thing walking down the street, all glitchy and stop motion-like. Naked as shit with that primal stare, looking for holes. A wolf in wolf’s clothing. (Or lack thereof).

* I can not stress enough: this doll is dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.

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